| Current Category is: Motivation | Select Another Category | |
|
|
| Home | Search | Categories | Links | About Us | Contact Us |
|
|
 |
Keeping Perspective: When Bad Things Happen That Are Not Life Threatening
The very first thing to question is how important is this in the overall scheme of life? Compared to all of the things that have happened, are happening, and could happen in my life - how bad is this? Is it something that will impact the rest of my life? Is it temporary? Although the pain may not feel like it's temporary, it usually is. It's important to get a perspective. If your car has been stolen, that's a major nuisance that will cost you time and money to replace, but how does that compare to a diagnosis of cancer? If your marriage is ending, it can be extremely painful, but your life will continue no matter how bleak circumstances may seem. So wouldn't it be easier to find a way to transcend the pain and move on, let go, and take away the power from the negativity? Wouldn't it be more pleasant to look at the 'bright side'? and yes! There always is a flip side! It may not be one you believe in at the moment, it may not be where you want to focus, but there IS another perspective. It's good to keep in mind - although during the painful period it's not always the first thought - that out of every crisis comes an opportunity. No matter how bleak or dire circumstances may seem, we can't change them, but we CAN control how we view them. Again, it's our perspective - our "Point of View" (P.O.V.) Usually when something bad happens, we take it personally. For instance, when a boss is constantly yelling, demanding and being unreasonable, we feel as though we are not okay, our well-being is in question. In actuality, it's usually not personal - not about us. It feels as though it's coming AT you - so often, we say "Why me?" but it's not really ABOUT you. It's usually the other person venting, feeling frustrated angry and they are holding the emotion. You only take it on if you choose to do so. Eleanor Roosevelt said it beautifully: "You can't make someone feel inferior without their consent." Now that the bad thing has happened, you have the ability to stop giving it power and energy and to begin feeling free and truly let it go. Only by holding on to the thoughts of the past, can they stay alive. What are you getting out of hanging onto it? The negativity can be draining your energy, taking up time, keeping you from other things. We may want revenge, may want to vent our anger, or choose to stay in the victim 'poor me' role, and feel sorry for ourselves. That's okay initially - briefly, but it becomes a waste of energy when life is continuing without us. The main choice is to transcend it (not often easy when you are enmeshed in the pain) or if possible, do something about it... otherwise you are whining, Complaining seems like you are doing something about it when you really are NOT. What you are doing is feeding the pain or anger so that it stays alive and well. By letting it go, it dies; it disappears; it can be left behind. If you are unhappy with the way your boss or significant other treats you, you could possibly have a talk with him/her explaining how unhappy you are - how their behavior is affecting you; you can leave the job; you can look at the bright side - you HAVE a job, or you could continue to complain and experience the same old, same old. While there are many more options possible, the first one has to be how you view the situation - as that's the ONLY place where you have complete control. By coming into the present and focusing on the positives - no matter how difficult it may be, you are taking control and taking the first step towards freedom. Invitation to Experiment:Think about the things that you are holding onto from the past. What is still swirling in your mind that is no longer truly relevant to you right now? Where can you change your point of view (P.O.V.) and affect a difference in how you feel about a situation? What have you been complaining about lately? Is there something you can do about it? What are you believing is directed at you? Can you see it from another perspective so that you can see that it's about the other person and not about you? Marion Franklin - is a Professional Certified Life Coach who coaches individuals and groups regarding personal and professional change, focus, human relations, and conflict management. Marion has coached managers at major corporations including PepsiCo, Toys'R'Us, and Reader's Digest. She conducts and help clients design workshops and presentations, has been a featured presenter at meetings, retreats, and an ongoing Women's Workshop Series, has been cited in The Journal News and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on local Cable Television.http://www.lifecoachinggroup.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Are You A Visionary Dreams may seem unimportant in your quest for success. And it's true that ordinary dreams are often a mix of what happened during your day --plus some "wild" random associations. Procrastination Allow me to start this with a quote:To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing. ~Eva Young"I'll do it tomorrow". Happy New Year H appiness depends upon your outlook on life.A ttitude is just as important as ability. Walk In The Light It was a mild October night, weeks after the horrific September 11 terrorists attacks on our nation. With a mix of anticipation and apprehension, my husband, children and I, entered the gates of the North Carolina state fair. Why Do 9 Out of 10 People Never Live Their Dreams? When we were kids we all had dreams. There were no boundaries to our imagination and anything was possible. Have You Ever Not Done Something Because Someone Said You Couldnt? "Every truly great accomplishment is at first impossible." It's a beautiful spring day that I am writing this and it's at this time of year that I get motivated about what the rest of the year holds. Mind Power King Solomon said "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he as he continues to think so he remains. Aristotle said "What we expect that we find. What Makes You Special? Many people are too busy today trying to fit themselves into the image of other people. This ranges from physical appearance to dressing mannerism right to extreme character imitations. Motivation: No Finish LInes There is a saying that goes something like "getting to the top is easy, the hard thing is staying there once you get there."There's a reason the above statement is so true. Recommendations for the Best Personal Growth Books I can't stress this enough: You've got to motivate yourself in order to motivate your team. You don't motivate people, they motivate themselves (or they don't). You are the Master of Your Destiny Every thought of a human being is transformed as picture in everybody's mind.The picture transformed into your mind will be depending upon your thought. All Talk And No Action; So Let It Be Written; So Let It Be Done! It is so important to know how to motivate ourselves in an effective manner and in a desirable direction. Throughout life we continually struggle between the dual forces of what we say and what we do. Testy Horses and the Art of Speed Waiting "What are you waiting for?" said Nelson, looking at me impatiently. "Well? Go on. The Easy Way To Lasting Self Motivation Will power alone will never work over the long term. It isthe hardest way possible to get yourself to do anything. Are You the Motivator We're all aware of how important teamwork is and how an inspired team, working together toward a clearly defined goal, can accomplish tremendous results. But how do you get all co-workers to pull together and realize they are a vital link in a much bigger picture?Remember that individuals make a team. Every Passing Minute Is A Chance To Turn It All Around Every passing minute.When I first heard this line, in the movie Vanilla Sky, it struck a powerful chord in me. Clear Thinking - Ten Ways Does your mind sometimes feel like a television station you can't quite tune in? You know there's an interesting program on - or several, but everything is mixed with static. What if you could "tune in" at will, have clear thinking whenever you want it? Try some of the following. The Top Five Great Reasons to Delay Pursuing Your Dream 1.2. A Dollar and Some Ambition (Excerpted from "Building Your Network Marketing Business" CD)Capital in your business isn't what matters. It isn't the money that buys you a future; it's your skills that buy you a future. Make The Most Of Today "Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's when you've had everything to do and you've done it!" - Margaret Thatcher (Former British Prime Minister)"Ah! But today is the only day you are alive.
|
| Home
| Sitemap
| Disclaimer
| Privacy
| Contact
Us © COPYRIGHT 2011 BRAINBELLY.COM |
