| Current Category is: Divorce | Select Another Category | |
|
|
| Home | Search | Categories | Links | About Us | Contact Us |
|
|
 |
Divorce and Separation - A Child's Perspective
It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child's perspective. Children do not understand why parents no longer love each other and cannot stay together. Prior to divorce or separation they have only known that happy caring family environment which they were brought into. To them their world has been turned upside down and they cannot see why. If parents loved each other in the past, then why can't they love one another in the future. Children often believe that they could be the reason for a break up in a marriage which can result in long term damaging guilt complexes. A child's character often changes during divorce or separation when things are not normal at home. Children can be very sensitive to the emotional environment. During divorce or separation many children become disruptive at school, argumentative at home and some even go into a recluse. This can be a very lonely time, particularly if they are an only child. Their friends are not going through what they are emotionally. Hence they feel that they are the odd one out all of a sudden and do not know how to cope with the situation. All they want is for their life to go back to a normal family life where parents don't argue and row as it may have been before the stress of divorce or seperation. When a couple decide that divorce is the only option and separation is a necessity, children are again the ones that it effects the most. They are told that they will be with one parent one day and the other the next. How are they supposed to form any kind of routine ? This can often result in children not sleeping in their own beds as they prefer the comfort and security of being with a parent. Children often feel insecure and are most vulnerable even at school when they listen to their friends planning family outings and holidays. Children of divorcing parents can feel as though they are going to miss out on family events and get togethers. During a divorce each parent makes separate commitments to a child and It is important that when arrangements have been made by the parent or parents that they keep to them as the child will feel let down and resent a parent for not being there for them after they had said they would. Reliability and punctuality are of utmost importance to a child. They will clock watch and expect to see you on time and have been looking forward to spending time with you wherever you decide to take them. In a child's eyes it's you they want to be with and it's your time spent with them that's most important to them even after the divorce or separation. Divorce can bring our the worst in people. Never run down the other parent in front of your child. This creates resentment and bad feelings all round. Also, never think that you can buy a child if you are late or fail to follow through with your promise. Although you may think that you are doing good for buying your child a toy to impress them - think again - keep that special toy for a birthday or Christmas present. Your time to be with them is much more valuable than a toy. Even after the divorce or separation they will remember where you took them and what a fantastic time you both had rather than a toy. They will talk about your outing or time together for days because it meant so much to them to see you and have you all to themselves. Quality time rather than quantity of toys is far more important to a child. These are just some of the issues children face when parents are going through the throws of a divorce or separation and every attempt should be made by divorcing parents to limit or reduce these adverse affects upon children. Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations. http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce. An uncontested divorce is a divorce that occurs when there are no disagreements between spouses over divorce related issues like custody, finances, living arrangements, spousal support, child support, etc. Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustration. Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision shouldn't be taken lightly. How to Recover From Divorce As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I have developed this list of survival strategies for people who are experiencing divorce. Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to you, you may wonder. Steps Toward Divorce When you're faced with the possibility of divorce it's important that you make sure you and your children (if you have any) are taken care of. Before you even visit the attorney you'll want to assess your financial situation. Cheating Husbands - Meeting Needs? Husbands cheat on their wives for many reasons. They could be bored with their lifestyle and feel that they need to do something exciting or they could be having a midlife crisis. Top 5 To Dos Before Saying "I Do" 1. DO allow yourself enough time to make one of your biggest life-altering decisions. Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times.But in most marriages, this is not always the case. Joint Bank Accounts and Divorce Here are some useful tips on joint bank accounts and divorce. If you've recently been through a divorce - or are contemplating one - you may want to look closely at issues involving joint bank accounts. Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery! It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you. Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case 1. Have an Clear Written Fee AgreementMost experienced and effective divorce attorneys charge by the hour and require an advance retainer (or deposit) that is paid at the beginning of the case. How to Use a Divorce Lawyer You want three things in your divorce attorney: expertise in divorce, reliability, and a good attitude. You want a lawyer who specializes in divorce (at least 50% of his/her case load), and unless you're expecting a no-holds-barred battle, you want a lawyer trained in divorce mediation who practices it professionally. Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article There are many types of divorce articles available on the Internet by a variety of authors. What's below will help you get the most out of the divorce articles here on this site and anywhere else. Deciding On Spousal Support No matter which side you are on, spousal support is something that will need to be taken care of during a divorce. Something must be decided about spousal support, yet, where are you to begin? What are you going to do to resolve this issue of spousal support? Are you afraid to ask for what you already know you deserve, support? Or, are you on the other side, wondering what is going to be required of you as far as spousal support goes?What is spousal support? Who is entitled to spousal support? Spousal support is support given in the form of money or possessions that helps to support a spouse after a divorce. Deciding on Divorce: How to Know You are Making the Right Choice It's a well known fact that in this day and age most marriages end up in divorce. When confronted with the possibility of "throwing a relationship away", you'll probably experience a lot of stress. The Heart Moves On: Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a particularly difficult experience because it makes you deal with two different sets of issues.Issues of endings, separation, and letting go (disappointment, anger, sadness, fear and trying to achieve closure)Issues of acceptance, forgiveness, becoming open to new beginnings and new possibilities. Love and Marriage Fairy Tale When we were children we believed in fairy tales and happy ever after endings just like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and many other fairy tales. However, as we grow older, we soon realise that situations in real life do not always turn out as we would of expected our fairy tale to. Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting Situations What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents should avoid? Learn them to spare your kids from the painful consequences.1. What Are You Waiting For? So, you've decided that you're no longer "a couple", but for whatever reason, you and your spouse have decided to stay together "for the sake of the children".Isn't that what the children need? Don't they need the strength of a two parent household in this mad society that we live in? Don't they need the emotional assurance that Mom AND Dad are together? Don't they? Or do they?When my ex and I decided to divorce, we decided that he should probably live in the house with the children and I, for their sakes.
|
| Home
| Sitemap
| Disclaimer
| Privacy
| Contact
Us © COPYRIGHT 2011 BRAINBELLY.COM |
